Twice doesn't make it any better.
After a not to bad two hour non committal coffee with Jim, from where I concluded that the first thing people notice about you isn't your dimples Jim, I came home, ate, used the bathroom I couldn't find in Port Authority, and took a shower.
Distantly, I heard my phone ring, and when I called back, Jan was picking "someone" whom I knew to be Jason from an earlier conversation with EJ, but I just got out of the shower, so they were going to pass by before I could get ready in time.
Walked down to main street and it was very liong, and took the bus to Jan's house. I always get off at the wrong stop, but it's okay. Dark highways to Jan's house is a regular thing for me.
Got there, and saw people I didn't know, an extra girl, and two extra guys, Andy, and well one I didn't even notice who was sitting behind a pole who turned out to be Jason.
And of course the regular players.
On my way to the bathroom, I saw Vic coming down, and after a general small talk conversation, I said, "You know, they probably think we're making out." And he laughed a bit uncomfortably and said, "I actually been meaning to talk to you about that."
So we stepped outside, and he said how he's a cuddler and how he didn't mean anything by it, and he's really embarrassed to be put into this type of situation and to put me in this type of situation. I shrugged, and I said I didn't think it meant anything, and he obviously didn't think it meant anything, but our friends just, despite their best intentions made it worse. He said, "When they said you were here, Jan gave me a look, and Rony gave me another one." And again, I repeated my message of our well meaning, but often misplaced intention friends.
He said that if he was interested he would have asked for my number and would have been more forward, and I said, I know, your cousin said I wasn't your type anyway, and he said, he didn't really have a type.
And just because I like to drive wounds deep into myself, I said, "Just to be clear, not only did it not mean anything, but you're not interested in me right?" And he looked at me and said, "Don't get me wrong, I think you're really cool, and you're witty as hell, but you know..." and I just smiled and said, "I know."
When we came back, EJ and Jan asked where I was, and when I told them I was talking to Vic, Jan was like "Ooooooohhhh" and I turned around and said, "No. Not like that." And when Jason gave me the same reaction, I gave the same response. Smiling.
He was remorseful over it later on in the night and explained it to EJ, and myself sitting across the table for him, said, "Listen, don't let it bother you, despite what certain people in this room might think, we were the key players in it, and if I know it didn't mean anything, and you know it didn't mean anything, then that's all there is to it." Derrick probably was getting the wrong ideas in his head, and Danny was horny as hell as he was drunk again, along side with Rony, who asked me to feel Vic's growing stublyness.
It's wrong, but it's all in my head so what does it matter, that I don't really like Eve, because shes's their cousin and she can...just. She's their cousin.
It's sad how Shirley is so entrapped under Rony as evident as Shirley who is a proud and independent woman, BEGGED and pleaded with Vic not to tell Rony about the whole social networking thing.
I know it's not his fault, and he didn't do it on purpose, and of all things, I should have and I did know better, but he makes me feel so unloveable and unwanted.
So, lesson learned, second time, makes things worst, not better.
At least with misconstrued ideas at the Yan's.
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